We're like a lot better than the average bears
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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