I need help removing her.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
