Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
