You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
