dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
