i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
