I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it's like iHOP with fire
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
