It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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