I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
