I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
