five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
