We're like a lot better than the average bears
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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