I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize