It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
