worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
this boner is exhausting
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
