I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
