in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
