There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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