Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I have aggressive nipples.
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