I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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