you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize