The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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