i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
