you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
