It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
