Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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