Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
