Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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