I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
