Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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