She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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