I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
