Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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