I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
