It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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