We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
