Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
