your room smells of hookers.
And success
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
People in love make me want to vomit
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
