Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
