i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
