sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
