So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
