so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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