I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
