: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
