alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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