He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
