You just made me feel so damn special
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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