Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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