Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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