I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
