Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
