I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
