11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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