And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
