I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize