Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
