I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Shame is for Republicans.
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