if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize